


I Love You... No You Don't

by loOkMA_iTyPeLiKeDiS



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: 5 + 1 Things, F/M, Fluff, Lance (Voltron) Is A Sap, Soft Plance, Stubborn Pidge, brush ur teef y'all, cavity inducing, soft angst, super fluff, this is gross and sugary AF, word vomit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-24
Updated: 2018-10-24
Packaged: 2019-08-07 02:52:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,316
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16399970
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/loOkMA_iTyPeLiKeDiS/pseuds/loOkMA_iTyPeLiKeDiS
Summary: The five times Lance tells Pidge he loves her and the one time she finally believes him.aka Lance tries to confess to Pidge multiple times and she tells him he’s wrong





	I Love You... No You Don't

**Author's Note:**

> Idk when this story would take place in the Voltron universe, but it doesn’t follow canon  
> there’s some light smut hidden in there somewhere, but nothing explicit
> 
> (the title is trash and subject to change but i couldn't think of anything clever or cute lmao ^^;; pls don't make fun of me)

I

 

Lance used to pride himself on being able to bounce back from many and any difficulties and hard experiences in his life. It was something he’d always thought was a gift. The whole unaffected by life’s plight and the struggles they encountered thing was definitely beneficial because it allowed him to focus his energy on helping others get their morale up. On helping others keep their head above water and not drown in all the angst and pain and destruction surrounding their lives as soldiers in a galactic war.

He used to hate Pidge calling him a goofball, but somewhere along the way, he’d understood what she’d meant by it in her usual (somewhat tsundere) fashion. Lance was the cheerer-upper, and his antics kept the team away from their burgeoning misery during war. Regardless of whether they perceived his behaviour as annoying or not, that was his job. He kept them distracted.

But he wasn’t impervious forever.

On a particularly harrowing mission, they were unable to stop a dangerous Galra lieutenant fast enough, and a few of the planet’s inhabitants ended up dying. Some of which were young children who had been playing outside. And a pregnant female.

Lance blamed himself for not spotting the threat from his vantage point sooner.

And that was that.

Lance had pretty much expected some sort of mental damage after that, so it came as no surprise to him that he developed crippling nightmares that plagued his sleep over that disastrous mission. From watching the light dim from eyes as the paladins had hurried to the site to try to provide first aid or find any survivors.

Coran tried to console Lance on nights he went for some psych treatment so he wouldn’t develop yips in his shooting. But this struggle in his psyche had been inevitable. The paladins were bright eyed, bushy tailed teens when they were plucked from earth and sent flying into outer space and pulled forcibly into war. Trauma would eventually catch up to even the strongest or most stable of minds put through an ordeal like that.

And above all, it was a lot to ask of a teenager to keep up his mental strength while essentially having to fight an intergalactic war during his most significant years of growth. Most teens his age were worrying about first crushes, kisses, dates, and times. Figuring out where to go for college. Stressing about standardised tests and teachers making their lives hell with homework. Working part time jobs to pay for their expensive partying habits and lifestyles.

Lance spent his “Saturdays” having regular brushes with death.

The nightmares were usually roughly the same. It was the same mission and Lance was in the same high spot on the roof of the abandoned building during the invasion. Only this time, he was frozen and couldn’t move despite knowing exactly where the threats would be and what they would try to do. Despite that, he _could not_ budge and he was forced to relive that awful experience as the Galra executed people of the town. Only now, his friends were also down there screaming at him to hurry up and shoot, but he was choking on his capability, fingers stiff and unable to pull the trigger. One by one, people and his friends were cut down, and Lance was trying to scream but his body refused to move and no matter what he tried to say, no sound would leave his mouth. He watched them all die, their eyes blank and bodies mangled and broken as they all stared up at him with haunting, empty gazes, as if telling him that this was all his fault. The last one to go was _always_ Pidge who whispered his name and reached out for him with a shaking hand before one of the Galra sentries took its sword and silenced her.

And like always, Lance would shoot awake in a cold sweat in the middle of his sleep, breathing unsteady and ragged.

So he got scared to sleep.

The failed mission itself was something he still wasn’t able to deal with, but watching his friends die in his dreams took it over the top. Especially when he could have saved them. Seeing their glazed over, lifeless eyes induced a crippling fear in his whole being so once the insomnia kicked in, Lance gave up trying.

No matter what techniques and efforts Coran tried to give him, it didn’t work. There was really nothing he could do about it, so he went about his days, pretending to sleep, continuing his work as a paladin of Voltron. He was more withdrawn, dragging his feet everywhere and barely eating.

But Pidge apparently had been paying attention and pulled him aside during a training exercise when he accidentally missed a holographic enemy and zapped Keith on the bum.

“I know what’s going on with you. My dad had nightmares too and then insomnia from his time as a POW before he got back to Earth,” she explained, gently putting a hand on his arm in support. “Mom had to help him through it, so I think there is a way. You’re sleeping in my room tonight. Non-negotiable. You need to rest before you kill yourself from some careless mistake because your perception is shot. I’m not letting you be alone.”

He started to protest, but a sharp punch to his stomach left him winded and barely able to stand up straight and above that, if he wasn’t so messed up and exhausted he could have seen that a mile away. Pidge’s answering brow raise warned him she wouldn’t hesitate to strong arm him if she needed to so he acquiesced. It didn’t make a difference anyway.

So he did go to her room.

He thought she would have some scientific method or like some sort of robotic therapy for a cure, but all she did was curl herself up around him, pulling him into her arms and his head onto her chest and surrounding him like an extra blanket.

“Just listen to my heartbeat, Lance. Focus on it.”

It was steady and comforting, and her scent was pleasant and he found himself relaxing against her, closing his eyes as that first pull of sleep started to hit him. A pull of sleep that he hadn’t felt in nearly a phoeb.

It was shocking. Something so simple and intimate shouldn’t have had such a huge effect on him, but somewhere between Pidge singing an Italian lullaby and gently stroking a hand through his hair, Lance fell into a deep sleep.

He still had the nightmare, but this time when he woke up shaken up and horrified, Pidge was ready, murmuring soothing, sleepy words against his forehead and coaxing him back to sleep.

He did sleep that night.

And it had probably been the best night of sleep he’d ever had.

After that, he always ended up in Pidge’s room. Some nights he had the nightmares, others he didn’t. But no matter what type of night it was, Pidge was always there, a gentle presence to help him through his sleep and before he knew it, the insomnia started to recede.

“Thank you for being here…” Lance murmured one night, having woken up trembling post-nightmare.

“That’s what friends are for, you dork,” Pidge replied, not unkindly.

“No, it’s not just that.” He gripped the back of her sleep shirt loosely and smiled to himself. “Being there for me. Listening to me. Hanging out. Our lives are crazy but you help make it a little less crazy. Even when you’re making fun of me, it reminds me of simpler times. It reminds me of home. You don’t have to go out of your way every night to be with me, but you do anyway… and it means a lot.”

It truly did.

And it was likely the main reason why movement after movement, he’d stopped being so hurt by Allura and Lotor’s obvious relationship to the point where seeing them didn’t bother him anymore. It’d been a couple phoebs since the horrible mission, and where thoughts of Allura used to plague his mind, now it was thoughts of Pidge. Her eyes, her smile, the way she always made fun of him with that tiny flirtatious smirk on her lips.

“Thank you, Pidge.”

“You sacrifice yourself for everyone and go out of your way even at your own expense to keep our morale up.” He could feel Pidge’s lips sliding up into a fond smile where they were brushing his forehead. “But someone has to watch out for you, Lance. You deserve someone sacrificing themselves for you too. If this is the least I can do, I’ll do it. Besides, I function perfectly on two varga of sleep, so this is nothing.”

No one had ever said anything to him like that before, and it got his heart skipping wild beats in his chest. Why was it that being near Pidge like this made him feel like he could take on anything in the world?

Lance tilted his head up to meet her gaze but he found he didn’t have any words to say. Or rather, he couldn’t say anything even if he’d wanted to.

He was mesmerised by her big, gorgeous amber eyes shushing him gently with their warmth, her hands carding through his hair in a steady rhythm, nails lightly scratching at his scalp. Her hair was uncombed, wild and tangled, there were deep grooves of bags under her eyes and morning breath drifting in his nose, a trail of dried crusted drool on one corner of her mouth, the indentation of the wrinkles of her pillowcase pasted on her cheek. But the soft fairy lights were casting a glow around her and for some reason, even bedraggled and looking worse for wear, he realised Pidge was _beautiful_.

Not that he’d never noticed how pretty she was before—he knew—but it hadn’t been something he’d spent too much time thinking about until recently.

And staring into her eyes, Lance _knew_ he wanted her to be a constant in his life forever. He knew he would want nothing more than waking up with her like this for the rest of his life.

And with startling clarity, it dawned on him that Pidge was The One.

It wasn’t some huge moment where bells sounded off in his head and the world suddenly exploded in colour and dancing bears celebrated around them (although Lance was definitely a romantic at heart and if he ever had kids, he would totally tell them that was exactly what happened). It was just a quick thought that made so much sense and no sense at all and sure it had hit him really hard and fast and maybe he was jumping the gun but he knew what he felt. Something more intense than he’d ever truly felt for Allura.

And he knew he felt it for Pidge.

“…I love you, Katie.”

Her hand stilled briefly in his hair and he felt her breath hitch in her chest. For a moment, they were both awkwardly silent, and Lance wanted to bang his head against the wall.

What had possessed him to say that now of all times?!

Lance honestly thought he’d seriously gotten ahead of himself and messed everything up— _stupid, stupid, stupid!_ —and that she was going to think he was trying to take advantage of her or something and any second now she’d kick him off her bed and—

“Of course you love me. We’re brothers in arms, aren’t we?” she whispered, sounding off like she was talking through grit teeth. “If you didn’t love your comrades during war I’d be very surprised.”

The next morning, Pidge acted like nothing happened and joked around with him as usual, so Lance pretended nothing happened too, feeling a cold sting of rejection at her dismissal.

 

II

 

It was supposed to be a simple mission.

Pick up the stranded supply ship and escort it to the rebel base it was supposed to go to. Because of its simplicity, only Pidge and Lance had been sent to fulfil the mission. But they’d gotten ambushed by a trap set up by a Galra fleet who had intercepted the rebel camp’s message. They’d done their utmost best to hide the cargo in a safer location and then attempted to fight off the fleet, but in the end, they’d been heavily outnumbered. The ensuing fight had been too much for them and they’d ended up crashing on a desert-like planet. The accident had shattered one of the bones in Pidge’s leg and Lance ended up running into something sharp when he landed and tore a deep gash in his side.

Their lions had been down for the count too, completely unresponsive, but they knew the Galra would be looking for the lions and that they needed to find somewhere safe to hide for the time being. They’d managed to stumble their way to a rocky cave leaning on each other, but without any first aid supplies or something to make a splint for Pidge’s hurt leg, they could do nothing but sit and wait while she attempted to get into contact with their friends.

But they needed help and soon, because if the Galra found their lions, it wouldn’t be hard to figure out that they couldn’t have gotten too far. Not to mention they were on an unfamiliar planet and who knew what kind of dangerous, wild creatures might prey on them. They were in absolutely no condition to be fighting now, especially with such terrible injuries.

He wasn’t one to be so pessimistic, but he was sure this could be the end. As it was, Pidge could barely move from the horrid pain and Lance was already starting to get dizzy from the loss of blood. No matter how much he pressed on the wound, it wouldn’t stop bleeding. If he didn’t get some sort of help soon, he was going to die.

And dammit, if this was where he would spend the last few varga of his life, he wasn’t about to go without saying what he needed to say to Pidge.

“Listen, Katie. I know this might not be the best time to tell you this, but if these are the last few moments I get to spend with you, I want you to know how I feel. I don’t want to go with regrets.” Lance winced as he shifted so he could see her more clearly. “If I don’t make it, I want you to know… I love you.”

Pidge was oddly quiet, staring at him with one slightly cocked eyebrow. She was scrutinising him like she was trying to solve a puzzle and Lance wondered if he’d said something completely different than what he intended because her expression was annoyed and confused.

And hurt?

“What the hell was that?” Her eyes narrowed. “Lance, you’ve clearly lost too much blood because you’re delusional.”

He blinked at her in absolute stupefaction.

“…You wanna run that by me one more time?”

“Adrenaline is making you say stuff like this. Plus all the blood you lost. That’s your fear talking. I know you’re scared of dying, but don’t say stuff you don’t mean.”

“That doesn’t make any sense. If it was my fear, then my deepest thoughts would be coming to the surface uninhibited and that would make my thoughts more real,” Lance argued, gripping his injury with a slight groan. “Pidge, I meant what I said. I love—”

“Not necessarily,” she responded in irritation, pointedly staring away from him as she brought her good knee up to her chest and curled further into herself. “It’s called desperation. You don’t want to die—not that you’re going to—without making some sort of impact on anybody or a lasting impression and since I’m the only person around, this is what you went with.”

None of that even made any sense, but she wasn’t looking at him at all anymore and Lance knew she’d closed herself off. He needed to drop it. _Before_ she drop kicked him in the head or something.

It was frustrating as fuck, not to mention offensive, but he didn’t respond back to that.

They stopped talking after that because Pidge was ignoring him completely, and Lance was hurt and annoyed. This was twice now she had dismissed his confession with some strange deflection.

What the hell was her deal?

In the end, Pidge managed to catch the frequency of a cargo merchant’s radio out in space and hacked the server to get a message out to Hunk’s lion. By the time the others had found them, Lance had lost so much blood he was close to passing out and Pidge’s leg was viciously purple and swelling where the bone had snapped, but they’d survived.

Pidge yet again acted like that pivotal conversation had never happened, and it bothered him. Lance didn’t understand how she could possibly rationalise that his sentiments were false, but if she was fighting to invalidate his feelings for her, he would fight just as hard now to make her understand he was being real.

Lance refused to give up now.

 

III

 

The end of the war against the Galra empire was a huge celebration all across the galaxies and on Earth. Zarkon was dead, Haggar was no longer a threat, Lotor was the new emperor with Allura as his empress to unite the Galra and Alteans once and for all as it should have been, and now planets could go back to the lives they’d led before the war had escalated so badly.

But for Lance, there wasn’t really any cause for celebration.

Sure, he was glad that the war had been won and that there were no longer active threats disturbing the safety of creatures all over space, but now he felt aimless. Lost. Like something huge was missing in his life even though he’d made the decision to put his paladin days behind him and focus on cultivating a life on Earth. He was just around the age people his age finished up university and generally sought out professional degrees (give or take a couple years… space was weird with time). He would be behind, but he wanted to pursue a different passion than piloting.

Pidge felt the same way, even though she had decided she would stick with engineering and tech. The Garrison had decided to create a new branch of tech studies for alien tech and Pidge was appointed to spearhead it, so long as she got her masters for minimal qualifications for the position. Lance was proud of her, proud of all his friends for continuing their ambitions, but he didn’t know what he wanted to or even could do.

They both ended up having to go to university, Pidge doing some dual BSE/MSE degree while Lance decided to just go to school in general to see if he could figure out his next passion.

So naturally, since they attended the same school, it only made sense to get an apartment to live in together. Not only was it easier to deal with since Pidge was already comfortable around him (and neither of them wanted to live in dorms with crappy roommates) but he also still needed her should his insomnia kick up again. He hadn’t had serious issues sleeping in about two or three deca-phoebs now, but every once in a while, he got the occasional horrible nightmare and Pidge always accepted him in her bed when he was too shaken up to sleep right. Plus the arrangement was practical and convenient and would save them both money.

Not to mention neither of them particularly wanted to live with their families because they wouldn’t know how to explain their odd hours of sleep, their newfound damaged hearts, the fake smiles, and the injuries and scars on their back, arms, and torso that would likely never heal. Every conversation was stifling. He loved his family, but he had to downplay the horrors he’d experienced and fake cheer all the time just to prevent them from getting too worried about him.

It was exhausting.

And while Lance still could maintain some degree of good cheer, there were times he just wanted to be by himself, or take some time to meditate on his own and stew in his own thoughts without company. It would break his heart if he hurt his family by pushing them away, so the best choice was to live with Pidge. She had similar sentiments, and she needed her space at times too so she understood. But Hunk didn’t believe those were either of their main reasons and while Pidge would flush red when he made comments and chase Hunk with threats of bodily harm, Lance knew Hunk was right. Lance definitely had ulterior motives that he wanted to stay close to Pidge.

After they’d saved Earth, their Voltron group all pretty much separated. And while he saw Hunk frequently enough, Keith, Shiro, and the Alteans usually were in space doing their own thing. Lance just didn’t want to lose Pidge. He was terrified of losing her. So living with her seemed like the best way to keep her in his life.

It originally made him feel guilty, like he might be taking advantage of her or something, but those thoughts quickly vanished because it became pretty clear as time went on that _Pidge_ was the one fully taking advantage of having him being close by to do everything for her. Grocery shopping, buying pads and tampons, changing lightbulbs, picking up prescriptions, taking her to the movies, grabbing books for her from the library, picking her up from late night classes, buying her snacks and coffee for study sessions late at night. _Everything_. And that wasn’t even touching on her stealing and wearing his clothes (which wasn’t a total complaint to be fair) and eating most of the food his mom would send him.

At least she killed all the bugs though, because he _hated_ bugs. They scared the ever living shit out of him and he still got nightmares from that one giant centipede monster they’d had to fight years ago to liberate a village on a planet. And also a different mission on a planet where all the inhabitants looked like _cockroaches_. One had given him a thank you smooch on the cheek and he’d promptly passed out, frothing at the mouth because HELL NO.

Point was, Pidge knew he couldn’t say no to her wishes and on this particular night, she was craving _cheeseburgers_ of all things so she’d woken him up at the ass crack of dawn and dragged him to a diner all the way on the other side of town because apparently they had the biggest and juiciest and meatiest and most burgerlicious burgers.

(And she’d put a freezing cold foot on his face when he pointed out that wasn’t a word which she argued was).

Why she was craving one, he had no idea, but he’d crawled out of her bed, pulled on a sweatshirt and his jeans and drove them out to the place Hunk had recommended. Plus she wasn’t making him pay for once.

But it had been worth it to see her sleepy, goofy grin and excitement when the waitress brought their orders to the table.

“We’ve been back for eight months now and I can’t believe I still haven’t had a burger!”

“Hn…” he grunted, still half asleep but watching Pidge take a huge chunk of her food in amusement. “Doesn’t change the fact that you’re a crazy person.”

She turned her nose up at him. “None of your insults can ruin this moment for me.”

Lance watched her devour the burger, ketchup on her nose and mustard on her lips and there were some sesame seeds on her cheeks and above her lip and Kaltenecker would be _so offended_ by the sight of her monstrous chomping on the poor burger. She polished the burger in short minutes and tore through the fries and even ordered some fried pickles and a peanut butter Oreo milkshake which she also finished so quickly he couldn’t help but wonder where in the hell such a small person could pack away so much food.

“Thank you, Lance. You’re the best.”

And then Pidge gave him the sweetest, softest smile he’d ever seen on her face and there were small bits of Oreo in her teeth and his heart started hammering in his chest because she was so cute he was going to die. Small moments like these always reminded him of how much he always wanted to be with Pidge like this for the rest of their lives.

“God, I love you,” he said softly, resting his chin on his palm.

Pidge’s smile slipped a little on her face and she looked panicked for half a second before it came back as a smirk and raised brow.

“Because I paid for the food?” she snorted. “Wow… that’s all it takes to win your affections, huh?”

Lance frowned, prepared to object, but there was a warning gleam in Pidge’s eyes and he had a feeling she would take off running if he tried to push.

So he instead settled on an easy grin, leaning back in his booth seat with his Flirt Face™ switched on in her direction. “What can I say? I’m _easy_.”

He waggled his brows suggestively, and Pidge chuckled before snatching up his fries and eating those too.

 

IV

 

By the two year mark of living together, Lance and Pidge both had finally found a rhythm in their new lives. Had finally started to acclimate to life on Earth and settle back into relatively more normal patterns of life for humans. They were even starting relationships and dating.

But the problem was they were still two damaged people from war forced into celebrity status that just wanted to lead normal lives and most everyone the two of them dated wanted two seconds of fame from dating a paladin of Voltron or lost interest shortly after realising how scarred (mentally and physically) the two were. Some relationships ended quickly because they saw how close Pidge and Lance were. For Lance, others ended because they couldn’t stand being second place in his life and would never understand that it didn’t matter who he dated: Pidge would always come first. If she needed anything, he would drop everything and be there without a second thought. And that had definitely been grounds for some pretty nasty breakups.

Lance had no interest in dating for real though and only settled for small distractions here and there. There was only one woman for him, even if she seemed to refuse to believe he could ever love her.

Eventually, they both gave up on dating.

And then shortly after the sleeping together somehow progressed to _sleeping together_ after a night when Lance woke up having a panic attack from an intense nightmare. Pidge had kissed him without warning to calm him down (which had the exact opposite effect) and things had escalated and next thing he knew, he was rocking inside her and she was moaning and clinging to him like she never wanted to let go.

And then it continued.

And continued.

And continued, even on nights he wasn’t particularly nightmare ridden or sleep deprived.

It wasn’t that they were seeking a relationship (well, Pidge didn’t seem to be. Lance was in it for the long haul), it was just that they had an emotional connection that no other relationships they’d been in could understand or provide. Then Pidge moved permanently into his room since she spent so much time there anyway and they stopped making excuses for their activities. It was just a way to let off some steam when they needed it.

And it worked.

Hunk thought it was a horrible idea and didn’t understand how they could attempt recreational sex like that when they meant so much to each other but Lance didn’t question it.

(He was actively getting some. Could you really blame him?)

But there was something in his heart that soared happily whenever they were together, while she was riding him, slowly rolling her hips forward, face flushed, panting softly and hands gripping the headboard while he was handcuffed to his bed. The intensity of the sensation he felt being in her was overwhelming. No matter who he’d slept with in the past, Pidge was the only one who could unravel him, take him apart and put him back together, while he could do nothing but watch her in awe, his body too overcome with emotion.

“Katie… I love you,” Lance said breathlessly when she sank back on him and he felt her inner walls flutter around him. Pidge’s rhythm faltered a bit and she paused, blinking down at him through hazy, lust-filled eyes.

Her response?

“You can’t tell someone you love them in the middle of sex, Lance.” She scoffed with a roll of her eyes, then moaned when he lifted his hips just enough to get her to start up her pace again. “That’s tacky.”

“What? No, it’s not. It’s romantic.”

“Absolutely not. That’s your hormones talking. They’re going crazy because of what’s happening down here.” Her face flushed deeper when she gestured to the point where they were connected. “Your emotions are intense and you _feel_ like you’re in love, but you’re not.”

That was news to him. “I disagree. Yeah, it feels amazing, but I’m not lying about what I said, you know? I wasn’t any of the last times either.”

“Hush…” Pidge leaned down and kissed him slowly, sucking his lower lip between her teeth as she pulled away and drawing a soft groan from him. “Just lay there and be a good little pillow prince, Lance.”

He didn’t bring it up again.

The rest of their rendezvous was slow and unlaboured and she managed to draw out the longest and most intense release he’d ever had with the way she kept edging him.

But Pidge called it fucking or screwing. Every time.

Lance knew he could only think of it as making love.

 

V

 

It was kind of funny how things in their relationship worked out.

They weren’t dating, but they went out together all the time. They weren’t _together_ together, but she lived in his room and they frequently had sex. They weren’t exactly just friends anymore, but Pidge refused to acknowledge his feelings for her.

It’d been a stressful four years, not to mention kind of upsetting, but Lance wasn’t one to give up on anything. He saw an opportunity when Pidge accepted being his plus one for his parent’s vow renewal ceremony. He’d invited her in hopes that she could understand how important she was to him if he was 1) taking her to Varadero Beach to meet the fam and 2) bringing her along to an intimate family affair that someone wouldn’t bring just any old friend to.

As he suspected, his family loved her, but kept calling her his girlfriend and kept teasing them when they would tie the knot and other similar jokes that Pidge took all in stride, though he could never tell what was going through her mind.

He and his siblings were groomsmen and bridesmaids and he spent most of the ceremony trying to figure out how to make her see that she was the love of his life and fantasising about being together through old age, in sickness and in health, through good and bad times. When he envisioned his future, he envisioned himself having a successful, beautiful marriage with Pidge like the one his abuelo and abuelita had, like the one of his parents, and like the ones of Luis and Lisa and Veronica and her wife.

And call him crazy, but he kind of already considered them somewhat married. Their lives were definitely intertwined immeasurably.

Lance’s father spoke about how he fell in love with Lance’s mother, how it wasn’t some outrageous moment where he had heard a fanfare, how she had been on a date with another man at his family restaurant and had thrown her wine in her date’s face before storming out. At that moment, seeing the fire in her eyes and watching her cuss out the idiot, his father had known _that_ was the woman he was going to marry.

That was the woman he wanted as a wife.

Not the perfect, prim, respectful daughter of some regulars his parents wanted to arrange him with, but the loudmouthed one who was unapologetically her, self-assured, a flirtatious Casanova, and somewhat wild. All her imperfections were perfect to him and he’d fallen deeply, deeply in love with her that day. He tried to pursue her for three months before she finally gave him one date. By the next week, they were officially together. The next month, they were married.

It was a story Lance had heard thousands of times before, but this time, it spoke to Lance’s heart because he knew he’d gone through it too. His gaze drifted to Pidge where she had Nadia on her lap and his niece was looking up at her with stars in her eyes and Lance totally agreed because he swore Pidge had some shoujo moe flowers surrounding her.

Words could not describe how beautiful she was to him.

How much he would give anything to be the man she called the love of her life too.

And then Pidge shifted and met his gaze with this serene smile on her face and for a moment, he thought he saw the same emotion in her eyes that he knew was in his but that lasted all of a few seconds before she contorted her face and stuck out her tongue at him and Lance had to quickly look away before he started laughing.

(Which unfortunately didn’t go unnoticed by more than one of his family members).

By the middle of the after party on the beach surrounded by pretty much everyone they knew and all of their neighbours, his entire family kept coming up to him and giving him tips on how to snag Pidge, how to propose, how to romance the pants off of her. Marco wouldn’t leave him alone, teasing him for not being able to seal the deal with Pidge as a girlfriend when even Sylvio had managed to lock in a girlfriend. Even abuelita tried to give him some tips on how to please a woman and keep her wanting more. He gladly accepted a dance with his mother as respite from the nonstop teasing from his other family members.

“You deserve to be happy too, mijito. You wait too long and you’ll lose her. You don’t want that to happen, do you?”

Lance sighed. “I don’t. I love her so much.”

“Yes, we can _all_ see that,” she said dryly, giving him a fond pat on the cheek, “considering you go into a daze every time you look at her.”

“So why can’t she?” he whined, dropping his head onto his mother’s shoulder and fake sobbing. “Do you know how many times I’ve tried to tell her and she didn’t believe me? She’s more stubborn than even tía abuela Maritza and that woman was a mule!”

“Maybe she does know. Maybe she doesn’t believe you because she’s scared or because you used to be a flirt.” She let Lance go when Marco swung by to get a dance with her and turned Lance around by the shoulders. “Try a different method, Lance. Pick your moment. Make it more clear.”

He didn’t understand how saying ‘I love you’ couldn’t make it any more clear that well… _he fucking loved her_ , but he’d try it one more time.

Pidge was dancing with Nadia and twirling her in a circle when Lance walked up. His palms were a bit clammy, but he wasn’t going to let his nerves get to him.

“Mind if I cut in?”

Nadia nodded as she started to walk off but gave him a warning look. “Don’t mess this up, Lance.”

He wondered if the whole world knew about his feelings for Pidge.

(Except for the woman herself).

“Your niece is almost my height and we’ve got a sixteen year difference.” Pidge pouted, placing one hand on his shoulder and the other in his hand as he took her waist and pulled her closer. “Even with these heels, I’m still a damn dwarf.”

Lance snorted. “We McClains grow like bean poles. You’re very cute though.”

“Well that much is obvious,” she said playfully, messing with the wreath of flowers Nadia had put on her head earlier. With the pixie cut, it made her all faerie like and adorable. “Thanks for bringing me with you. Your family is wonderful and they made me feel like one of their own from the moment we came here. I’m having a really good time. Especially with you.”

This was his moment.

“Truth be told, I had ulterior motives bringing you.” Lance smiled a bit sheepishly. “I wanted my family to meet the love of my life.”

Pidge frowned, looking a little confused for a brief moment. “What?”

“Katie. I love you.”

“…That’s called wedding fever, Lance. It happens,” she explained quietly, chewing on her lower lip and staring at his Adam’s apple. “You got all crazy about it because you’re surrounded by successful relationships in your family and now you’re thinking about all this future stuff and you feel like you love me, but you’re wrong.”

“No, I’m serious. _I love you._ I’ve been in love with you since we were still on the Castle of Lions and you helped me get through my nightmares. You don’t have to be scared.”

That earned him a glare and sharp tug away from him. “Scared of _what_ exactly? A false confession?”

Lance recoiled a bit, slack jawed at her response. “A false—! What the hell, Pidge? What part of me telling you I love you sounds false!”

“Lance, I know you’re a sap and a romantic and you get a hard on for anything having to do with love, I get it, but can you stop conflating your desires of romance with me just because I stuck around? I know you don’t actually feel that way.”

Never in the world could he ever imagine that she would respond to what he’d said that way. Where in the hell had this preposterous idea even come from?

“What?! Pidge, it’s not like that in the least!”

“Really? So you’re telling me if all of us paladins were still around, if you had _another_ option, if someone else, let’s say Allura, had been the one to help you get through the nightmares, you’d still feel the same way about me?” Pidge ran a frustrated hand through her short hair. “Lance, I know what you’re saying, but I don’t think _you_ know what you’re saying. Because there’s no way this isn’t some form of hero worship deep down. You don’t need to try to reward me for helping you with your insomnia.”

Lance wanted to argue, wanted to explain to her that this wasn’t because he was grateful for her help—especially since that had started hella years ago!—that he’d truly fallen for her for being her but the fireworks started and she’d shuffled away somewhere else, choosing to ignore him the rest of the night.

It wasn’t until they’d returned to their place from Cuba that he realised everything she’d argued had been pertaining to _his_ feelings for _her_. She’d never said anything about her own feelings for him. He wasn’t imagining their connection. He knew there was something there, otherwise why would she stick around? Why would she still cuddle up with him in bed? Why would she still kiss him goodnight even after their bad argument? This whole ordeal needed to be clarified and solved.

He would try one more time.

He would prove to her that his feelings weren’t fabricated from gratitude. That he honest to goodness loved her.

Once more and if he failed, well… he wasn’t sure what he’d do so he really just couldn’t fail.

 

VI

 

Lance didn’t know what would it take for her to understand how much he loved her.

Some grand gesture?

Because Lance could do that.

He could have some huge fireworks display or some flash mob or one of those planes that write messages in the sky but he knew she wouldn’t appreciate that. Not only that, but he was sure she’d say his ‘I love you’ was cheapened by all the pomp and therefore wouldn’t believe him again. He could just imagine her telling him he did it because he enjoyed the spectacle more than the actual feelings.

And honestly, he was running out of ideas, so he straight up gave up on using words and decided to just _show_ her. Because she wasn’t getting it, and she had the wrong idea about why he loved her and he wasn’t going to sit there and let her keep believing falsities.

So he made her favourite dinner and set the table up with candles and wine, put fairy lights all over the living room to keep it soft, set up a trail of rose petals from the front door all the way to the living room, and then stood on the small bed of petals he’d dumped in front of the table, waiting anxiously for her to return from work.

And when she did return, hair greasy, clothes sweaty, eyes fatigued and dragging her feet, following the petals right to him, he pulled the ring he had bought out of his pocket and kneeled in front of her. He was terrified and her eyes went wide and she looked like she’d stopped breathing and she dropped her bags and he also kind of couldn’t breathe, but Lance wasn’t going to stop until she knew how much she meant to him.

“I don’t have the poetic language to tell you how much I love you and no matter what I say, it will never do the feelings I have for you in my heart justice, but I love you, okay? I really do. You’ve been a constant in my life for so long that I can’t envision my life with anyone other than you. I want to spend the rest of every day in my life with you. Will you be my Mrs. Blue Lion? Or I guess, will you let me be your Mr. Green Lion? I know it’s kind of cheesy and we don’t really do the whole paladin thing anymore, but I thought it would be kind of cute or funny or goofy…well, my point is, will you marry me, Katie Holt?”

And it was kind of messy and spur of the moment and to him partially intelligible and just a little bit crazy but it felt right.

Pidge didn’t say anything for several agonising seconds. She just stared at the ring, all sorts of undisguisable emotions swirling in her glassy eyes. Her hands were clenched into fists and he definitely caught her slight sniffle.

“Lance… we never even dated. You can’t just skip steps.”

He gave her a dry look. “Really? Because we never dated or were boyfriend and girlfriend but that didn’t stop us from having sex either. Seems a little odd that you would be concerned about “skipping steps” right now when labels didn’t really apply for us. And c’mon Pidge, if we weren’t at least a little together you would never have let me stick it in your a—”

Pidge’s gaze rose and she shot him a dangerous glare that had Lance swallowing the rest of his statement with a choked cough. He nervously scratched the back of his head. Shit. He was veering off course. He couldn’t let her deflect.

“Listen, that’s beside the point. You know how important marriage is to me. You know how important having that dream romance like my mother and father is to me. I’ve fantasised about it since I was a kid,” Lance said earnestly. “I would never propose unless I meant it. Unless I truly loved someone. I want a family with you. I want us to grow old together. I just want to be with you forever. I love you, Katie. This is not hero worship or guilt or gratitude or whatever you think this is. I’m not joking around. I never had been.”

Pidge stared at him with wide, nervous, watery eyes. “Y-you… There’s no way you—”

“What’s your excuse this time, hmm?” he said with a certain level of levity, but he was actually terrified she’d turn him down and his hands were definitely shaking and his knee was cramping, but he refused to stand up. “Rose petals giving off pheromones that are rewiring my brain into being all emotional? My hormones being all over the place because I’m tired from studying for my certification exams? A male menstrual cycle, perhaps?”

“Don’t be a smart ass.”

“Don’t deny I love you.”

Pidge chewed on her trembling lower lip, and he could see that she was trying and failing to hold back tears. “…Why?”

Lance’s brows furrowed. “Why what?”

“Why do you love me? I need to know it’s not just because I’m here,” she muttered quietly, sniffling again as her voice wavered. “That I’m not just some back up plan because you couldn’t get your first love.”

And it broke his heart because they’d been taking care of each other all this time and he’d tried to show her through everything he did that she was the most important person to him and he never even knew that was what she’d been thinking about their relationship this whole time.

“I’ve been over Allura for several years, Pidge. She hasn’t been in the equation since she and Lotor officially got together. And then I opened my eyes and realised that I fell in love with you. Being close to you makes me feel safe, makes me feel like I’m floating on clouds. You make me happy in a way I never have been with anyone else. I can be vulnerable around you because I trust you. I can rely on you because I know you’ll always be sensible and solid when I’m not, even when you’re a wreck too. And I love that about you. You support me in ways no one ever could.”

Lance stood up and walked over to her, wiping away some tears on her cheeks when she tried hard to hold it together. His own eyes were prickling with tears, and he couldn’t help his happy grin when he saw the love and happiness in her gaze too.

“I love your intense intelligence and your ambition and how passionate you are about your work in tech and your drive to constantly seek out knowledge even when you’ve already got thousands of projects lined up. And on top of all your fantastic qualities, you’re so beautiful and sexy and cute and I love your body. Your face. Your fantastic proportions, and call me a perv, but just the thought of knocking you up with my kid gets me so hard I can’t breathe.”

She snorted and punched him in the chest with a roll of her eyes, though her face did flush with heat. “You are such a dork.”

Lance grinned. “And I love your goofy little grins and the twinkle you get in your eye when you’re teasing me and how incredibly self-assured you are and how you do whatever the hell you want to do whenever the hell you want to do it. I love how gross you can be sometimes and how you’re never concerned with societal norms or what other people think of you. You’re you. It’s inspiring and has made me learn how to stop caring so much about being in the limelight all the time. You’re annoyingly stubborn and your messiness is a pain in the ass, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world.”

She took in a shuddering breath, whimpering a bit when a little sob left her lips. “Lance…”

“I love you because I love you. Not because you’re the only one available. And even if you weren’t I would still choose you. Every time. No ifs ands or buts about it.” He took her left hand and slid the ring onto her ring finger, never breaking eye contact so she knew how serious he was. “I’m crazy about you. I love you so fucking much. So can you stop making excuses now and marry me, goddammit?”

“…I love you too.” Pidge’s voice cracked and she started sobbing. And he knew it was a big deal because Pidge hated that whole vulnerable, sappy, crying crap with a burning passion, but if even she’d been reduced to tears, then this had to be real. “Yeah… I’ll marry you, Lance McClain.”

Lance’s eyes welled with happy tears too and he wrapped her up in his arms, kissing her deeply and drinking her in and feeling like his heart was going to burst out of his chest with how hard it was beating. He had the love of his life in his arms and she loved him too and they were going to get married and nothing else in the world could ever top this moment.

Pidge broke away when they needed air and rested her chin on his chest, grinning up at him. “You know you’re cleaning all this shit up, right?”

Lance rolled his eyes fondly. “Shut up, Pidge.”

And he kissed her again.


End file.
